Single mama for more than ten years!!

 My Anne

 Anne's mama

I can not say that I am experienced enough to a single mama area for eleven years!! No, because every day there new challenges out there which I face.

What Are Some Challenges That Single Mothers Go Through?

Single moms often face more financial stress than moms in a two-parent household.

Whether it is by choice or the result of an unfortunate circumstance, single motherhood brings about its own unique sets of joys and challenges. Understanding the challenges that single mothers face can encourage proactive solutions and arm parents with the tools needed to make the most of the single-parenting experience.

Financial and Health Care

Single mothers often experience the stress of financial strain, especially if they do not have the support from an ex-spouse in the form of child support or alimony. According to Mayo Clinic.com, single-parent households also generally have less access to health care. Increased costs and financial burdens mean that some working moms are forced to work overtime or take on a second job to maintain financial stability, which can translate into less family time.
 

Spare Time and Support

Single moms are responsible for managing the home and child rearing by themselves. Even with help from family members, the bulk of responsibilities for dinner, laundry and other household tasks falls primarily on the single parent. This can result in exhaustion and less energy and time for other things, like an active social life.
 

Child Behavior

According to Healthy Children.org, many fathers stop seeing their children on a regular basis after the first year of divorce. This can cause children to act out from the hurt and lack of a positive male role model. Behavioral problems can also occur when single moms are too over-scheduled, making it difficult to manage discipline effectively. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, youth in father-absent homes have higher chances of becoming incarcerated and are more likely to get poor grades.
 

Recommendations

To help minimize the struggles of single motherhood, both parents can make a plan to stay involved, if possible. Scheduling time to rest and relax and building an emotional support system are important ways to reduce stress and exhaustion. Healthy Children.org recommends professional counseling to help cope with the challenges of single parenthood, and Family Doctor.org recommends that children of single mothers take advantage of connections found in play groups and after-school activities

How to help your heartbroken child

Seeing your child deal with heartbreak is heartbreaking for you as a parent. Whether it's watching their first crush choose someone else or they're going through a difficult breakup, it tugs at your heart strings. All you want to do is make everything better. While you can't exactly do that, there're things you can do to help them get through this difficult time.

Don't minimize their pain

It can be tempting to tell your child that the pain they're feeling is small compared to what could be going on in their life. You are only trying to put thins into perspective but this is not usually helpful. The pain they are feeling is big to them. Try to refrain from comments that minimize what they are going through. They need you to understand that they feel sad and upset.

Empathize

What can help your child is emphathizing with them. sharing stories of yuor first heatbreak or when a crush did ot turn into a relationship can help them feel not so alone. It is a good reminder to them that they will get through this difficult time. another benefit is that it helps your to relate to how they are feeling. there is nothing like remembering when you were heartbroken to feel emphathetic.

Make their favorite meal

Of course this will not fix everything but it's a small gesture of kindness. It is nice to know someone's thinking of you an ddoing something just because they love you no matter what age you are. If spaghetti and meatballs or hamburgers and fries are a favorite then now is the time to pull them our. Even a temporary brak from their sadness for a meal they love is helpful. there's no denying that food can be comforting.

Remind them their future is bright

Hoe is always helpful. It is good to remind your child that their future is bright. Talk about all the great things that are waiting for them next week, next year or years in the future. Getting their mind off of their troubles can be helpful. Helping them shift their focus to positive things can help them feel better.

Give them space

There is also value in giving them some space. They may want to be alone to deal with their feelings. the is okay. Allowing them to have that time to process their feelings is healthy. We all need time to sort through our thoughts and feelings at times.

 

Doest it really matter if your children have different fathers

Relationships break up

You should never be ashamed if your children have different fathers because with the best will in the world, relationships don’t always last. When you had your children it was almost certainly with the expectation that you and your child’s father would always be together. But he may leave, or the relationship just doesn’t work out. That happens, and you shouldn’t feel bad.

Still a good mum

The most important thing is that you’re still a good mom. Sure, it would be ideal for all your children to be born into the same relationship. But the fact that it didn’t happen that way doesn’t make you a bad mum. Why shouldn’t you have more children in another relationship if you want?

Nobody’s business

Really, it’s nobody else’s business if your children don’t share the same dad. Your new partner may be their father anyway in all but name; lots of men treat their partner’s older children as their own. Your family unit may not be totally conventional in some people’s eyes, but in the modern world it’s far from unusual.

Love

The important this is that your children are loved and that they feel secure. It’s certainly not easy blending families and for everyone to adapt, but it can definitely be done. The fact that your children don’t share a father is not for other people to criticize, and is far from the biggest problem they will face in life.

Single moms Money Saving Tips

Saving money is smart! When you save and spend money wisely you will be able to by things you need and want.

-        Pay your debts:

If you have a lot of debts, getting back in the line can be a long and a back breaking road. Unless you’ve won the lottery, it seems there’s never enough money to pay off all your debts as quickly as you’d like, the only way to dust it all out is to prioritize. Prioritizing your debts can help you pay them off as quickly as possible, and it can provide the security you need to get back on your feet even in lean times. Best of all you can prioritize your debts on your own without contacting a financial advisory, and doing so may help you achieve your goals. When you have no debts to your name, saving becomes much easier.

-        Set reasonable savings goals:

When you know the reasons behind your savings, the task becomes easier and attainable. Set goals that are within your reach to motivate you make tough financial decisions needed to save responsibly, for big goals like buying a car, house, getting to college or decades to achieve. In these cases, it’s important to observe your progress on regular basis.

You might consider saving your money in the bank or pensions funds where there is high interest and profit. It it’s for short term goals a piggy bank or a jar at your home place may work for you. Learn to spend money on essential first, spend on things that you can’t do without, things are namely: food, clothes, housing and water. But just because these things are necessary you don’t have to squander. Keeping a budget of all your spending can also help you save more money.

-        Don’t get discouraged:

When you are having trouble saving it’s easy to lose your morale, you may be in tough financial situations and it may seem almost impossible to save up the money to meet your long term goals. Don’t panic, relax and start small, the sooner you start the sooner you will be on your way to achieving your goals. There may come a time when you wish to spend your “savings” on this and that out of your plans, when this situation appears try asking yourself if what you are about to do is better than the goals your are trying so hard to achieve in the future.

How to Survive Being a Single Mother

 

Women of any age can become single mama through death of a spouse, divorce, abandonment or choice. Here are a few suggestions to maintain mental health, thrive as an individual and nurture your children in the best possible manner.

Steps

• An important thing to remember is that your health and well being is vital. Take steps to ensure that you are taking care of yourself, if you are struggling and feeling depressed don't be afraid to seek help from friends, family or a health care professional

• Maintain a blameless mindset. Make time for yourself to create and clarify your values.

• Remember society has many outlets of good, kind, loving people who are compassionate and supportive.

• Consider the skills that you already possess. Are you a good reader? Are you a good communicator?, Do you know more than one language?

• Look to close family, Universities and social agencies for assistance with food, clothing, medical needs, shelter and future education for yourself.

• Take responsibility. Be selective. Do not think that constraints with limited funds allow anyone to take advantage or force us into a decision. Remember, WE are the mothers. As long as we have love for our child, our morals are intact and we behave in a legally responsible manner, all should work out for the best.

• Check the phone books for hospitals that can refer you to child crisis centers, social workers or other social agencies.

• Leave if you are in a bad neighborhood or an unhealthy relationship. Your safety and the safety of your children is priority.

• Believe in yourself. Know that while it might take a great deal of time to finish college while being a single parent, you can succeed.

• Establish a support system that you are comfortable with. Make sure to have only friends who are of sound mind and can make healthy decisions care for your child in your absence.

• Use state funded grants for food, housing and school if necessary.

• Ignore people who are critical of you

• Cleanliness Remember to stay clean, and keep your abode in order. Cleanliness means health.

• Learn CPR. Take infant and child CPR classes from the local Red Cross or hospital.

• Take parenting classes. Many times these classes will cost nothing if you speak to the receptionist. The Red Cross can not deny anyone classes for lack of ability to pay. The classes can be a life saver. Remember, parenting is a learned skill

• Parental skills are learned. If we were parented well, all the better, if we think we want to leave some things behind or improve upon them, do so.

• Remember every day is created anew, and YOU are the architect.

• Have dignity for yourself and build confidence to create a character building environment for your child

• Fight loneliness. When you get lonely, paint, draw, read, sing, mend something, call a friend or family member.

• Accept parental responsibility.

• Learn from our children. That is a continuum that is ever evolving.

Single mama is a hero!!

 

Be Happy!! Because someone call you mama!

I am a Single mom of a 9 years old, I work full time away from the house so I am always on the lookout for new things that will make my life better!